I remember once reading an article about Eva Longoria and Tony Parker wherein she implied the two of them had a pretty close relationship with Spurs coach Gregg Popovich. Now that she’s dating Mark Sanchez, I enjoy imagining that she Skypes with him to discuss her day and her outfits, and Jets coach Rex Ryan ducks in and says, “Eva, we need Mark to focus on throwing the ball more than 100 yards per game. Wear the white one, have a nice night, and now let’s all hang up and go get a goddamn snack.”
It would be bad fashion advice, of course: This dress looks stale and moth-eaten, like a molting dead swan melted into a role of Brawny paper towels and then found its way onto a Project Runway work table. But, the part about going to get a snack would be good, so… she’d break even on that chat.