Elizabeth Olsen is so lovely. But as for her outfit, well, my reaction to this dress is in the vein of that old grandmotherly “but you’re such a pretty girl, I wish you’d just brush your hair and wash that stuff off your face” trope.

As in, “You’re such a funky pattern; I wish you’d just take off that bib and get a trim and find some accessories, like maybe a belt.” And then the dress would shout at me, “You just don’t GET IT,” and flounce off to its room and slam the door and crank up the latest Bieber tune, and I’d be like, “In MY day, we had REAL music,” and then go clean my dentures.

[Photo: Getty]