Amazon had a Black Friday party — otherwise, how would anyone know about these deals at all?!?!?!? — and poor lovely Paz Vega was apparently cast out into the grimmest of Black Friday timelines, in which she was forced to wear a diaper-shaped tourniquet around her pelvis. Watch for this to inspire a new Amazon show, His Dark Depends, which fuses horror and Christmas flicks into a series where Santa punishes his elves with assorted sartorial marks of doom until several of them finally snap.

Tags: Paz Vega
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