I know that we complain about Dior a lot here at GFY, but for my money, I think that Coach’s attempt to be a purveyor of covetable clothes — as opposed to totally reasonable handbags — has been more disastrous for the celebrities it has sucked into its wake. Sure, Dior has spent years sticking starlets in branded granny panties, but they can pull out a hit when they need to — and, of course, they’ve got their exceptional archives. Coach, on the other hand, has done this to Selena Gomez, and then turned around and did this to her. They tried these heinous pants on Maisie Williams, and this underwhelming thing on Letitia Wright (at the New York premiere of Black Panther, at which she surely deserved better). That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I think part of the issue is — much as when Louis Vuitton’s ladies are trotted out at LV events, actually — it is rare that a celebrity actually looks normal in head-to-toe brand new Whatever. People don’t dress like that; stylish people, especially, when left to their own devices rarely wear head-to-toe brand new Whatever. As is happening with JanJo here, that gives a person a sort of Uncanny Valley style — it’s not appealing and there’s something a little weird about it. There’s no life there. You look like a store mannequin. In this case, a store mannequin that many people would trot past, then stop, turn back, and say, “what is Coach DOING right now?”
