That is not a typo. Well, it was initially, but then I left it there because it’s kind of apt. I am fatigued. I can only imagine how it feels to be Lady Gaga and NEVER GET A BREAK from herself. At least I get to turn off my computer. She has to come up with new ways to shock and inspire fear.

For instance, yes, it’s alarming that her nipples appear to have lashes. And the wig makes this all feel like a scene from a lost episode of Alias that really should have stayed lost. And if those shoes aren’t secretly coolers or flasks, then really, they are a complete waste of time and equilibrium.

But the icing on the cake is how it looks like her rectum is wearing a dog collar. Are they REAL buttockial spikes, or an optical illusion? I almost don’t care. Because now I also feel sad and exhausted for her Prime Meridian, and because she has officially forced me to treat her ass crack like it has feelings, I automatically need to quit her for, like, a year.

Tags: CFDA, Lady Gaga