I’m a huge sports fan in general, but not of baseball particularly, so the other day when ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt asked on the radio whether Ron Artest or Brian Wilson is crazier, I was like, “… Are the Beach Boys that notably insane?” But no, they meant this man, star closer for the World Series champion San Francisco Giants:
The beard is his signature; the hair, I don’t really know. But the SHOES! The shoes are resplendent. Marty McFly Junior would pass out in front of the clock tower in a pool of his own drool for those bad boys (so thank God he has that self-drying coat). They demand their own hoverboard and a garbage-powered DeLorean, and if somebody doesn’t deliver them soon, WELL. He is probably going to call you chicken.