I have, and had, a lot of feelings about The Bachelorette this season. One is that 24 is too young to expect a person to make these kinds of choices, and they should put an age minimum on this thing. The length of time that toxic narcissistic assface Luke was on the show is a symptom of this, I think, as is the fact that she was so willing to believe in Jed, and how her family hating him seemed to make her more reluctant to dump him; the fact that she couldn’t tell his music was terrible; the fact that she she couldn’t see that if he’d truly fallen for her and his intentions had really shifted from simply getting publicity for his music career, the proof would be in, among other things, NOT MAKING THE PROPOSAL ALL ABOUT HIS DUMB GUITAR. Ahem. I feel that way about contestants as well, for both shows, by the way; listening to a kid who isn’t even 25 yet talk about how much they’ve struggled with love “my whole life,” and how they’re giving up because of constant heartbreak, is just… YOU ARE FETUSES. You are raw clay. LIVE FIRST.
Anyway. I also had really low expectations of Hannah going into this, and — Luke and occasionally Jed aside — the way she handled herself was a positive surprise. I was proud of the way she stuck up for herself in any NUMBER of weird and irritating and sad and offensive situations, including how quickly and thoroughly she saw through Jed’s mediocre cover stories and half-truths and attempts at covering his own ass. The only thing I wish more is that she had screamed at Chris Harrison for pretending the show was totally ignorant of Luke’s Hail Mary attempt to come back to the rose ceremony, and for his terrible perspective whenever he offered it. Advice Crone(s) would be a lot more helpful, Hannah. Find yourself some. Advice Crone’s first suggestion is to hold that snack Tyler C. to that drink date promise, and then turn it into a lost week of therapeutic boinking and see what happens.
