I’m thinking of this one as The Battle of Dresses That Look Like Photoshop Effects.

This one is Shatter, or maybe Stained Glass. It looks like some keenly chosen mouse clicks broke the black fabric into pieces. I might not mind it except that I don’t find it very flattering on her, or at least, maybe it demands a more dramatic head. A More Dramatic Head might be the name of my autobiography, too, in which case I have a lot more tizzies and hissies and enemies-into-lily-ponds that I need to throw.

Kimberly Perry also wore fancy black-on-nude, and with almost the exact same makeup:

Neither one of these people stuck the landing with their mouths. I like the top of Kimberly’s better, I think — it’s like a funky pointilist/arc-deco love match — but the skirt is not overwhelmingly good on HER, either. I think both were sold on an idea rather than an execution, and in turn, did not do their utmost to execute it. But I’m a cruel fugstress, so I shall make you decide WITHOUT the crutch of a middle-ground option.

Pick it. PICK IT:

  • Sheryl (34%, 1,164 Votes)
  • Kimberly (66%, 2,274 Votes)

Total Voters: 3,438

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[Photos: Getty]