To bastardize my own Twitter joke from the other day: NOOP, GOOP. NOOOOOOOP.

That. Is. Heinous. It’s a glorified satin dickey that looks like it was made partially out of ruffled tennis underpants. Is it even finished? Are those special deodorizing armpit valances, soon to be sold exclusively on GOOP for $295 each in scents like “Artisanal lavender” and “Organic Alpine Wind” and, for an extra Benjamin, limited-edition “Free-Range Galapagos Mango Sandwich”? I can’t.

[Photo: WENN]