Before today, I would have thought of “skeleton pants” as “pants that are so frayed, they are merely a hint of being pants; they are the framework of pants and ONLY the framework of pants.” Like, say these idiot jeans from two years ago. And I would have thought of “pelvis pants” as super low-rise trousers the likes of which people voluntary donned in the aughts. This woman is a German celebrity — or influencer, I don’t know; she’s got a lot of Instagram followers — named Tamara Becca, and she has given me a new reference point for both of those phrases. These, which roughly approximate the skeleton of the lower body, absolutely make me stare at her pelvis but not in the way we are used to (mercifully) but yet still in a manner that’s slightly distracting. I would, obviously, wear these around Halloween. And I’d probably wear that year-round if it was slapped on a pair of sweatpants. But just as… regular going-out pants? I’m not whimsical enough, I don’t think. My pelvis is already as involved in pants as it needs to be.

[Photo: Getty]