Well, look. I derive no joy in being a hack, and we don’t usually cover the media who are themselves covering the red carpet. But one of the aforementioned things is a lie, and the other is a rule that’s about to get broken:

Oh, Maria. Maria MeNONONONO.

(Please don’t tell me how many times I’ve made that joke before; it’s bad enough that I’m doing it now. I blame El Niño.)

[Photo: Getty]