Oh, Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald. I know you had a hard life on Passions, including nearly being cremated alive, and going down to hell with Julian Crane and having to hang out with him there while Hitler wandered by you.

But that’s no excuse for THIS much sideboob. AT THE HALLMARK CHANNEL UPFRONTS. I mean, Hallmark Channel probably has a movie in development all about how sideboob ruins families, or something. And that’s not just sideboob; it’s frontboob:

There really is no greeting card category for my feelings. Sympathy, like the dress itself, just doesn’t seem to cover it. They need to create a new category for WTF ARE YOU DOING GIRL I KNOW ALL MY CHILDREN WAS CANCELLED AND YOUR EX IS HOT HOT JUSTIN HARTLEY AND HE’S DATING ANOTHER SOAP STAR NOW BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO PULL IT TOGETHER AND BE SANE PLEASE. I don’t think that’s too specific, do you?

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]