Apparently Tessa joked that she looks “like a loofah” in this, and, frankly, while I profoundly appreciate an actress who has a sense of humor about her outfits, I’m beginning to feel like she’s angling for my job. Tessa! You got to make out with Michel B Jordan for work! I AM HAPPY TO TRADE. Any time, any time you’d like to work some Freaky Friday magic, please do not hesitate to ask. Other humorous comparisons that might have worked in this instance, just so you know, are: Belle from Beauty and the Beast at Studio 54, a sentient Easter basket hell-bent on earthly destruction, and Lisa Minnelli’s show-stopping costume for the Act I closer of a Pushing Daisies musical in which she plays a lemon meringue pie. You’re welcome.