Alex Breckenridge here has a bit of a resume of Stuff That Got Cancelled: The Ex List, Life Unexpected, Dirt, Sons of Tucson, Undeclared. I’m sure the rest of the cast of American Horror Story hopes she isn’t a show-killer, but then again, she’s also been on Family Guy and True Blood and one of the CSIs, and they’re still around, and also she’s entertaining in She’s The Man. So let’s have hope. This concludes the portion of our blogcast that’s brought to you by Alex’s IMDb page; let’s get to the part that’s brought to you by the letters N and O.

Girl. It’s not your cotillion. Nor is this the Ice Capades. And it’s REALLY not a new reality show hybrid of those two things, Ice Cotillion. The lower third belongs to a different dress entirely, and my issue is, I don’t know which part to keep and which part to eliminate like a weeping, bruised, blue-lipped skating debutante (who, in my head, would be forced to exit via a failed triple axle as Dick Button shouts over a loudspeaker, “Well, that was… disappointing“). Help me. Help HER. And please, someone, help Dick Button, because he’s not commentating anymore and it makes me depressed. So I guess that also counts as helping me again. Me! ME.