On one hand, this is like the Platonic Ideal of what Rooney Mara would wear to the Oscars: colorless, architectural, a little weird, and best suited for someone with minimal cleav. (Minimal Cleav, by the way, is the name of my new band. You’re going to love our new single, “Don’t Hate Me (Because I Don’t Need a Sports Bra).”) On the other, WHY DOESN’T IT FIT HER BETTER?