A tale as old as time: Girl goes shopping, girl finds skirt she likes, girl realizes she doesn’t own anything that goes with said skirt, girl justifies purchasing skirt by saying to herself, “Whatever, I’ll figure something out when I get home.”

In that sense, then, Jessica Szohr is living the dream. To the rest of us, she is living a lie, because we are pretty sure the people at Bed Bath did not intend their wares to be taken this far Beyond.