We recapped the first Sharknado movie, because it was impossible to resist the sight of Ian Ziering chainsawing his way out of a shark and then having to kiss Tara Reid, who was unable to provide a take in which she did it without traces of laughter and nausea (and with good reason; would YOU suck face with a man who was just eaten by a shark, carved his way out, and still had viscera on his mouth? Even if it was pretend?).

But we didn’t do the subsequent installments, because… to be honest, I forgot to watch the second one, and then full-on forgot the others existed. But now we’re on number 5, in which I’m told Bret Michaels of Poison killed a flying shark WHILE playing the guitar? Do I need to be back in, Fug Nation? Should I get caught up in this Sharknado or stay in Kansas?

[Photos: Backgrid]