We haven’t seen much of Cheryl since her ignominious — or not, who knows — departure/dismissal from The X-Factor. Leave it to her to re-emerge in cracktacular style.

There appears to be a sheer part to this rust-colored outfit, which I otherwise don’t really mind, but LOOK AT HER HAIR. It is hilarious to me. It’s a bouffant of yes.

It reminds me of when I touched Kat Graham’s hair at Fashion Week after she told me it was her hair extensions wrapped around Styrofoam. It felt like the Science Fair. I have myself on tape making a really unattractive squealing noise. This seems similarly IMPOSSIBLY built. I am dying to know how she did it. And whether it was heavy, and gave her a neck ache. It’s just so… It is a cranial blimp, a follicular flambe, a bloated bouffant that ate too much wine and cheese last night. It’s Barbarella at a cocktail party. Maybe this is a visual salvo to Simon Cowell that says, “Good sir, watch your back, lest I show up on thy doorstep and blast you to smithereens with mine ion gun.” Because apparently, Cocktail Barbarella talks like a cross between Shakespeare and The Bible.

[Photos: Flynet]