So, Mortdecai has to be awful, right? It looks embarrassing, and of the four people on the poster — Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan MacGregor, and Olivia Munn — only Johnny has done any red-carpet press for it. Okay, it’s early yet, and Gwyneth did The Tonight Show, and Howard Stern, supposedly. And I’m sure at least one of those other people can be persuaded to show up Stateside for a premiere. But if the movie is good, in my experience, the actors often find a way to be wherever it first debuts, no matter where on the globe that is. And doesn’t Olivia Munn usually go to the opening of an envelope? Poor, horrible Mortdecrap.

But, nature abhors a vacuum, and so — even though she is not in the movie — Dakota Blue Richards steps up into the void:

She’s 20. Her dress is at least 45, and also, I think, possibly ripped.

From the back, it’s a bit younger:

Younger, in the sense that it seems sort of confused about itself, so it’s trying a little bit of everything in the hope that it’ll figure out what it does best. It’s the Reality Bites of designs, except that I don’t think banging Ethan Hawke is going to offer it much clarity.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]