Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow Americans! As is customary, Heather and I plan to dance around with turkeys on our heads until Monday, November 26th, at which point we will be back with new posts (and probably salmonella). HOWEVER! We do hope you will join us on Twitter on Sunday night at 9pm E/6pm P as we live-tweet the Lindsay Lohan debacle Liz & Dick — at least until we get too drunk and pass out. We are @fuggirls, and you shouldn’t miss it. (Don’t worry, there will OBVIOUSLY also be a fugcap to follow if you are in too much of a turkey coma to even deal.) Until then:

Joey Tribianni’s Best Food Quotes. (UpRoxx)

– Flavorwire has put together a helpful supercut advising you what NOT to do this Thanksgiving. (Flavorwire)

– I love this headline from Refinery29: Turkey Day Tips for Hiding Your Food Baby. I plan to wear a caftan, obviously. (Refinery29)

They took a poll to determine Great Britain’s favorite royal and I am kind of surprised by who won – although said royal does seem worthy. IT’S FERGIE! (It’s not Fergie.) (Time).

Grantland talks to my boyfriend, Bill Hader, about all kinds of things, including Stefon. This article has everything, but mostly video. (Grantland)

– It cracks me up that Johnny Depp goes to pick up his kids at school in nearly full Jack Sparrow. I feel like that’s just ASKING for some of the littler ones to actually think that he IS Jack Sparrow. Which actually is probably fun for everyone, so carry on. (Lainey)

– Here’s some random penguins! They are so cute. They are drawings. They are not actual penguins. OR ARE THEY? (Random Penguins)

– I had no idea Wilmer Valderrama is dating Demi Lovato. Seriously, where have I been lately? (Celebitchy)

– Vulture’s Star Market wonders if Bradley Cooper is an A-lister now. (Vulture)

– Calvin Trillan wants to serve pasta carbonara instead of turkey on Thanksgiving, which leads to a long look at carbonara, all of which makes me want some carbonara. (New York Times)