HAPPY FRIDAY! At last. While you wait for your escape from the office, enjoy:

– Today is Harry Potter AND JK Rowling’s birthday (what a coincidence), and Time spoke to a variety of actors in the Harry Potter movies to get birthday wishes for Rowling. I loved this one: “Dear Miss Rowling, On the occasion of your birthday I trust you will be clothed in delicious pink garments surrounded by plates of purring kittens. These wishes come by order of Dolores Umbridge.” But they really are all lovely.

– Over at The AV Club, this is amazing: No, I didn’t call your shitty movie a “comedic masterstroke”

My Rage Tweets about this IDIOTIC Little Women reboot at The CW made Mental Floss’s coverage of everyone’s freak-out. I stand by my rage.

– This is fascinating, at Buzzfeed: How Teen Boys On The Internet Uncovered The Greatest Catfish Of Our Time. I hope the Ashlee Simpson theory proves to be true.

– Also at Buzzfeed, for some reason, this story really really made me laugh and I don’t know why: The 13 Stages Of “Holidays In The United States” Coming Up When You Email Yourself

– ALSO at Buzzfeed, Anne Helen Peterson’s take on Tom Cruise 2.0 is worth your while.

– Lainey is OF COURSE all over this scoop that Bffleck is allegedly dating the nanny. People is actually backing up Us Weekly’s story.

– Also at Lainey, Michelle Williams is apparently dating Jonathan Safran Foer, the writer. My take on this news bit was basically exactly the same.

– You know they’re auctioning off a ton of Mad Men props and whatnot, right? I want the SCDP mug SO MUCH.

People StyleWatch has a look at Melissa McCarthy’s clothing line; it looks pretty cute!

– Look at all these pictures of Grand Central in the 40s! (Travel & Leisure)

– If you haven’t yet read New York’s cover story, in which 35 of Bill Cosby’s accusers tell their story, you really ought to. It’s exceptional.

– At Celebitchy:  Is Calvin Harris going to propose to Taylor Swift with a $500K ring?

– Speaking of Taylor, you probably want to listen to Kelly Clarkson cover “Blank Space.” (Vulture)

Four minutes of Bill Hader making weird faces and dancing. I love him. (Pajiba)

– Over at The Toast, If Lupita Nyong’o Were Your Girlfriend.

This week’s recipe is SANGRIA SORBET. YES. (Host The Toast)