I hope Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves are for real. Not because I have anything invested in it, but because something about McConanghey suggests to me that if you ever hit on him, he’d deliver a long, folksy, very polite monologue about how, like, building a life with someone is like Jenga and if you pull out one block the whole thing might stay upright but if you keep pullin’ and pullin’ eventually it’ll crumble and then you’re just left with a big ol’ mess, so it’s better not to pull that first block at all, and instead go home instead and cook a steak and celebrate the spiritual bonds of family over a medium-rare filet and then go make love in a tent. And it will be the nicest rejection you’ve ever experienced.

[Photos: Getty, WENN]