Welcome to another future band name: Piper Perabo’s Deadly Shorts.
From the waist up, she’s Nellie Oleson; from waist to knee, she’s riding in the Tour de Pants, a grueling bike race in which athletes are asked to compete wearing the most awkward, ill-advised trousers imaginable. In the heat of summer it may take hours to peel those off, and once she does, well, may I present Ross from Friends and his pants paste as a cautionary tale. Advice: Just cut yourself out of them and call them disposable. You do not want Pants Paste to happen to you.