Jess and I were discussing La Garner the other day, because we both wish she’d come back to TV. Her movie projects, with the exception of 13 Going on 30, have not been kind to her, but she does have interesting taste in smaller roles (Juno) so surely she could find an episodic project that lets her be a hands-on mom and still kick some ass. Or at the very least, a very occasional guest spot on something like The Good Wife, which excels at using name actors in small but well-written recurring roles like judges, opposing attorneys, etc. Or, hell, put her on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. for an hour to kick someone in the face, for old Alias times’ sake. Essentially, I just want to see her doing more things that don’t make me roll my eyes (The Odd Life of Timothy Green).

And the same could be said for her clothes.

She never looked better than during Affleck’s awards run; the rest of the time, I don’t even know what she’s doing. This is so achingly mediocre, all blushy-nude satin that’s crinkled and crumpling around her armpits. Jessica tells me there are rumors she’s pregnant again, and if that’s true, a0 she is the most fertile person on the planet, and b) maybe this is just what fit her. But still. Jessica ALSO thinks Kerry Washington could be pregnant, and if THAT is true, then what fits HER is still better-looking than this.

In conclusion: We have no idea what is going on with anyone’s wombs, but regardless, they should be dressed better than this. In fact, just for fun, I kind of want Jennifer Garner to get a crazy edgy short haircut and start punking up her look a little bit. For spice. For variety. Think about it, Jen. Maybe it’ll work, and if it doesn’t, then maybe we’ll retroactively appreciate this more.

[Photo: Getty]