I bring bad tidings.
This is NOT, in fact, in service of a Lifetime movie called His Torso Wore Fishnets, about a man who lives in a fugue state by night so that his chest can moonlight on the pole. I know, I know. It hurts me too. Because that movie would be awesome, whereas this outfit is just sort of sad, limp douchenozzlery.
[Photo: Splash News]