This is a picture of Marion Cotillard looking great.

Jessica and I were saying that this is our dream self — casual and effortless-looking, yet still chic. It’s the delusion we want to have about what we look like, before we accidentally look in a mirror and realize we are not actually groovy French ladies with amazing, amazing shoes.

Anyway, this photo is intended as the happy place to which you can retreat after you see the next picture:

I don’t understand anything about this. I comprehend more French than I do this, and that’s saying something because I studied Spanish. It’s just so… may I be blunt? It’s dumb. It’s undergarments and a shroud. It’s a bathing suit wearing a mullet wig. And those shoes, I think, got lost on their way to someone else’s outfit. This level of swing-and-miss is like Yasiel Puig striking out because he faced the wrong way at the plate.

[Photo: Getty]