“Hello, I’m Noted TV Star Charlize Theron, here to talk to you about my new F/X comedy Balls, in which I play a woman with a messy personal life who runs a sporting-goods factory. The slogan is, ‘Throw a Pair.'”

“Just kidding. I’m here to remind you that a) I really am Charlize Theron, and when I am not standing near Sean Penn, you kind of like me; b) I can wear fancy-dress harnesses without looking saggy because that’s just how it is and you need to deal with that realness; and c) if you haven’t seen my new Mad Max movie at least twice by now, you will get a one-way ticket down MY Fury Road, except SEE, I look SO NICE here, because I am PLEASANT, and all that Furiosa stuff was ACTING, and if you want to remember that come Oscar time then go right ahead.”

Start your engines:

  • I'm furiosa... at that dress. (49%, 2,012 Votes)
  • I'm furiosa... that she can wear that and still look great in it. (47%, 1,911 Votes)
  • I'm furiosa... at you, for not liking it completely. (4%, 153 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,076

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[Photo: Getty]