The return of Freaky Fug Friday! And who better to usher in a new season of contests and creativity than the erstwhile star of Freaky Friday herself, Ms Lindsay Lohan (whose get-up at the Scary Movie premiere is heading your way later today):

She wore this ON AN AIRPLANE. And by “this” I mean, “I don’t actually know WHAT this is.” Is it….boots over jeans and then spats over the boots….? Is that sentence even in English? I do not know what is happening here. Please send help.

THE TASK:  Help. Please explain what Lilo is actually wearing here. But do it in a haiku.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on MONDAY.

THE PRIZE:  This week, we’re giving away five (5!) copies of the new memoir Rapture Practice, by Aaron Hartzler. Per Amazon:Aaron Hartzler grew up in a home where he was taught that at any moment Jesus might come down in the twinkling of an eye, and scoop his whole family up to Heaven. As a kid, Aaron was thrilled by the idea that each day might be his last one on planet Earth…But as he turns sixteen, Aaron finds himself more and more attached to his life on Earth, and curious about all the things his family forsakes for the Lord. He begins to realize he doesn’t want the Rapture to happen, just yet; not before he sees his first movie, stars in the school play, or has his first kiss. Before long, Aaron makes the plunge from conflicted do-gooder to full-fledged teen rebel…In this funny and heartfelt coming of age memoir, debut author Aaron Hartzler recalls his teenage journey to find the person he is without losing the family who loves him. It’s a story about losing your faith, finding your place, and learning your very own truth–which is always stranger than fiction.” I’ve read the book, and I can attest to the fact that it’s excellent — funny, engrossing, moving. A great read. Whoever wins it is in for a treat. (PS: Los Angelenos, Aaron is also going to be speaking at the Santa Monica Public Library tomorrow (Saturday) at 3pm. He’s also moderating the panel on which Heather and I are appearing at the LA Times Festival of Books on the 21st. Synchronicity!)

(This contest is open to US residents only.)