I spend a weird amount of time thinking about Emily Ratajkowski given that I really don’t care about her at all. I mean, I’m interested in her crazy outfits on a professional level, and I do not wish her personal harm — I don’t want her to fall into a well, or anything; I hope she lives a long and happy life! — but I am not invested in her at all. This is not the case for everyone we cover here; some of them, who shall remain nameless, could maybe do with some time in a well, and some of them I bear a deep and enduring affection regardless of their sartorial and/or life choices. But you know how sometimes a public figure will say or do something and you’ll never forget it and sometimes it will come ringing into your head like a bell, unbidden? For whatever reason, I think about EmRata running off and marrying her boyfriend after dating for like three weeks (and then getting annoyed at people side-eyeing this) all the time. She wore a mustard yellow suit; he once made a short film called Buffalo Wings. These are facts that live in my head now, in the place where the plot of everything I read in my American post-modern novels class used to be. If someone comes up to me at a party and asks me a leading question about Don DeLillo, I will say, “Emily Ratajkowski lives right over the Grand Central Market in Downtown Los Angeles and wore a giant hat to her wedding!” and then float over to the Swedish meatballs.
ANYWAY. That’s the path my brain took me on when I looked at this dress, right after I thought, “I guess it’s a blessing it’s lined.” And now maybe you’ll never forget about the wings, either. You’re welcome.
