First of all: Whoever planned thisĀ Bullet Train promo set-up was NOT thinking of the fashion bloggers. PR Friends, I know you want the name of this movie out there in the ether, but I want the bottom of this man’s trousers and his shoes visible. Who is to say that he’s not actually wearing shorts and some wooden shoes that a relative brought back for him as a souvenir from a trip to the Netherlands or something? What if he’s wearing Vibram FiveFingers? (Also, why aren’t they called FiveToes? They don’t go on your hands.) What if he’s gone Thomas Jane on us and is wearing chicken feet? What if he’s wearing two different shoes, a la Helena Bonham Carter? (A name I just tried to italicize like she’s a movie, which I guess in many ways she ought to be.) We live in an uncertain and terrifying world! I cannot be wondering about so many things!

(Photo by Stephane Cardinale – Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images)
Tags: Brad Pitt