I haven’t read very many positive reviews of the Nat Geo Genius season about Aretha Franklin, which is a bummer, but Cynthia Erivo is a professional and thus her enthusiasm for promoting it seems undimmed. (She’ll probably get an Emmy nomination no matter what critical reception is, which would put pep in my step too.) I wish I had a full shot of the dress she wore in the above Zoom interview, but no one has posted it to their Instagrams yet. It has a Vampire’s Wife feel. It’s well-chosen for this purpose, because all the bits you can see are fancy, glittery, well-accessorized, but not distracting. So even if the skirt is woven from garbage bags, it doesn’t matter. We’re none the wiser.

But behold this Schiaparelli:

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What a dream. The dress without the cape — shown on the second slide — is beautifully cut and tailored, fitting like it was born on her body. The cape adds a hefty and delightful dose of drama. I love it on her. SHE may be relieved she didn’t have to wrangle it on a red carpet, but I am sad about it.

The couture keeps coming with this Valentino:

 

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This is if Joan of Arc had a cabaret act.

Next up is Louis Vuitton:

 

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I love all of this except the clown ruffle. That seems useful if you have a cold, can’t carry a purse, and need some tear-off Kleenex. Otherwise, leave it with the Ringling Bros.

Finally, we have a confusing Vera Wang:

 

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“I want a sexy minidress, but make it IRRITATING,” said no one.