At first, I thought Carrie — performing at the country music version of Coachella — was just wearing a very summery dress.

How wrong I was. My whole history with this site involves a lot of “at first” statements that devolve into something aorta-ripping, and of course, this is that same story told for the 10,000th time.

It’s SHORTS.

It’s a BELTED SCARF OVER SHORTS. Girl. Is this because your husband moved into your house, and all that wailing you’re doing about having to give him closet space? Are you trying to make the point that if you have to share The Precious, you will not be able to find any of your actual clothes anymore, and thus he will have to contend with his hockey buddies teasing him about how his wife might next make pants out of neckties, or a bra out of toques, or lingerie out of his old jock protectors? If so… stand firm, Mr. Underwood. Don’t budge an inch. Because it would really crack me up to see her wearing the Man-Cup Bra with leggings made of kneepads.