You don’t actually see Beyonce and Rihanna hanging out together very often, but Bey and Jay turned up for Rihanna’s annual charity gala and it yielded a cleavtacular dinner photo that someone on the Internet announced would ward off all evil. Reader, I laughed. I wish they’d posed together on the red carpet, so we could get the full effect of Rihanna’s half-train and Beyonce’s maternity cleavage, but this will do. I enjoy imagining them beginning to have a conversation about how the twins are doing, and Beyonce launching into a long explanation about latching and lactating, and sitting naked next to some potted trees while she nourishes her seed, and Rihanna waving her hand and being like, “I meant your boobs, Bey. Oh, look, I should go say hi to Lil’ Kim.”
She picked a beautiful color, but it does really look like she was wearing it at home to relax and watch GLOW and then Jay-Z told her he’d given Rihanna his word and that he could not bear to break his troth. (In reality, I believe they went to see Dear Evan Hansen right before this in different clothes, which I gleaned from the presence of cast photos all over Twitter.)
And it is barely covering everything she may want it to, which… Beyonce, you just had twins. You wear whatever you can put on without your body angrily rebelling. I’ve been there. But given that you ARE Beyonce, I am confident that a NUMBER of better-made, more luxe caftans could have been procured. Hell, call Naeem Khan. There are several from the last seven or so years alone in his archives. And no, I won’t make you pay me any kind of matchmaking fee for that suggestion, but… I mean, if you had another set of Dear Evan Hansen tickets, I wouldn’t say no.