“HOLA LOVERS. Did you wonder why I am here? Well, first, lovers, I am American, I am music, and I am an award. Second, I have a new movie, and a song that I wrote for it, which can now be nominated for an Oscar and an Emmy and a Golden Globe AND a Grammy and if I go and hum it on Broadway someplace then it will win a Tony and I will do better than EGOT. I will EGGOT. Third, do not question the Lopez’s presence. Just say thank you. Fourth, you looked thirsty, so DRINK IN THE LOPEZADE before I cut you off.”

[Photos: Rex/Shutterstock, WENN, InstarImages.com]