Or, as I’m calling them, The Anti-Wills and Kate. It’s hard to get all excited for a couple when the dude is in the midst of a paternity test for a third (!) illegitimate child (honey, TRY CONDOMS) ALLEGEDLY conceived during their relationship and she ALLEGEDLY attempted to flee the country several times prior to the wedding. This may all just be gossip — well, the Secret Love Children are for real, as he’s acknowledged two of them and the palace has confirmed he’s agreed to DNA testing on the third — but the poor girl isn’t trying very hard to put the rumors to rest by looking over the moon with connubial bliss. I mean, look.