Allow me to be frank: As much as I like Jennifer Aniston, I was always very interested in Brad and Angelina as a pair, because, as a shallow human organism, I’m interested in hot people being hot together, and Mr and Mrs Smith is one of those movies where you’re like, “yeah, those two hot people should be hot together forever.” However, it turns out nothing actually does last forever, and being Brad-free has done Angelina a world of good — based solely on snap judgements I’ve made from her facial expressions, but, um, what other way do we have to judge human happiness? (For what it’s worth, Jennifer Aniston ALSO seems very happy with her hot and talented partner, so it’s a happy ending all around — except, I guess, for Bradley. Having said that, I recently decided that maybe Brad Pitt should get back together with GOOP. Think about it. THAT would be good gossip. She’s freshly recalled that time he told Harvey Weinstein to lay off, or he’d deck him, and she’s recently expressed regret about how she handled their break-up so she might be open to this. He’s back out on the scene. They’re both still blonde, and ergo prepped and ready to go back to having matching hairdos. I kind of really want this now. Come on, you guys. 2017 is mostly a trash fire threatening to consume trash island, where we all live. WE NEED THIS.)
