It is with heavy hearts that we report the premature demise of The Return to Jordan Catalano.

Instead, we have a cocktail comprised of Max Headroom, Draco Malfoy, Ravenclaw, and every douche you have ever seen at a country club.

Nice try, but it’s not working. LUPITA WILL NOT LIKE THIS, SIR. In fact, I’d venture to say she’ll give you a big ol’ Nyong’NO. So finish up this role, if that’s what it’s for, and go back to the Dark Side. Our eyeballs will be grateful.

Which new blonde is better?

  • Jared Leto (11%, 551 Votes)
  • Kim Kardashian (12%, 557 Votes)
  • NEITHER. STOP THE MADNESS. (77%, 3,700 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,808

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[Photos: Fame/Flynet]