Well. The show Vulture lauded for having the best sex on television came back from a break… with no sex. But I will bring you the one shirtless glimpse we got, plus some smoldering, gorgeous landscapes, a kilt, tears, and EVIL. And we’ll hope for some loins next week.

** A note about spoilers: Since a lot of people watch the show but not the books, things in those novels could be considered spoilers, so let’s make the comments a Safe Zone and refrain from previewing anything specific that’s coming. In other words, you are welcome to discuss the places the series has already diverged from the books, but please try not to discuss things that are upcoming. Thank you!

Speaking of next week: I know it’s not the best foot to get off on here, but Jessica and I will be traveling abroad for two airings of the show and I don’t expect I’ll be able to stream it over there. This means the episode 2 recap will likely have to wait and then fold into the one for Episode 3, which I can run on GFY the week of April 25. In other words, don’t give up on me just because I disappear on you briefly.

And while we’re on a housekeeping note: The Fug Madness winner announcement is coming. I know we’re all aware who won, but given the relative anticlimax of it all, it felt wrong to announce it without “One Fugging Moment.” And regrettably, our in-house editor and master of visual hijinks was working essentially 24/7 at his actual paying job and couldn’t cut together our contest-ending montage. HOWEVER, I have it on good authority that he’s working on it RIGHT NOW as I type, so. That’s still coming, I promise.

NOW ONTO THE STRANGELY SEXLESS SEXY SHOW.