The Widow Longoria is a long-standing GFY joke whose origin I barely remember — and I am the one that wrote it, so that’s truly pathetic. I poked around under the hood, and it seems to have begun at the 2011 Golden Globes, shortly after she and Tony Parker split up, when she showed up looking like a rich widow who gleefully consigned her same-age stepchildren to the poorhouse. The words stuck, even if the aesthetic didn’t, and even if it never really made sense in the first place. But I saw her in this outfit, even though I think it’s navy and not black, and my first thought was, “Oh, it’s The Widow Longoria. SHE HATH RISEN.” And so it be, so it is.
