The material itself would be spandex, but otherwise, the flowers, the minidress, the chunky shoes… it’s 9th grade again and half my class is wearing tight floral dresses from Express, and I’m going to classes for my Confirmation where the teacher was trying to relate to us by saying that Jesus was a party animal who dug the ladies, and we’re doing Our Town and oh, god, NO, time to spend a week canoeing and camping in the Everglades with a group of classmates I don’t really know. Some of those memories are obviously better than others. Like, I was happily in Our Town another time, but have NEVER returned to the Everglades — or really to camping, except under duress. And the spandex florals with short skirts and chunky shoes? I’ll leave this whole aesthetic to the O.Rods of the world.
