The seating chart for the 2012 People’s Choice Awards really nailed it. I’m getting an illegal amount of joy imagining Betty White congenially asking Robert what Twilight is about, and her eyes getting wider and wider as he explains the part about the werewolf being the romantic soulmate of a tiny baby. And then she’d recover and snort, “That’s nothing. Back in St. Olaf, Klaus Jurgenflurgen married a reindeer so it could get its green card. It was a SCANDAL,” and Pattz would be like, “I BET,” and she’d be all, “Right? I mean, who registers for a meat locker when they’re marrying a reindeer?”

[Photo: Getty]
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