So, Forbes just ranked Maria Sharapova the top-paid female athlete in 2010. And she spent her prodigious gains on this:
[Photo: Splash News]
That the blazer’s proportions don’t really go with those of the sequined formal shorts — which, in a weird way, look like a bronzed loincloth-diaper hybrid. And although that may seem plenty weird on its own, it’s REALLY weird when you consider what is on her shirt. Her horrible, creepy, freaky, asinine shirt:
Maria Sharapova, world’s highest-paid female athlete, is wearing a diaper. A diaper that is part of only three-quarters of a baby. Look, I am fine with babies. And even diapers. I have two dudes in my house wearing them right now, and yes, they are both babies, and I think they are hilarious and awesome (the babies, not the diapers). But you know what I did not like? The creepy dancing baby on Ally McBeal. I am assuming it was supposed to represent her biological clock, but if I’m being honest, I never stuck around long enough to find out, because every time that wack-ass boogieing CGI toddler shimmied on-screen, I changed the channel (because DVRs didn’t exist yet — this was in Jurassic times, see). It was like watching one of those lumpy and distorted 3D ultrasounds get up and walk across the room and ask you to smack that ass. Perhaps this issue prevents me from appreciating the whimsy and wit of this shirt, but you know what? I’m pretty sure it’s actually just a really stupid shirt. Worse, the baby looks like it’s got an itch, and like it’s bouncing back and forth on its legs, desperate to make use of its cloth latrine. It makes being “no. 1″ kind of an unfortunate piece of wordplay, no?