Presenting the first ever documented case of a hair-do somehow making someone’s neck look short:

This dress isn’t actually horrible, but I am so sick of her. I am so very very very sick of her. No one can say that girl doesn’t work hard, but my god, I need her to take a vacation. A long one. WITHOUT cameras invited. I was actually thinking the other weekend — as I drove past an ad on a bus stop wherein she was plugging Midori, as in the prime component in Midori Sour, the favorite gateway cocktail for lightweights everywhere – do you think Kim Kardashian will ever wake up and think, “excellent, I am worth approximately one hundred million dollars. That oughta do it for the rest of my life. I’m going to set up a charitable trust so that underprivileged girls can get butt implants, and then I’m going to take a job working as a docent at local historically significant buildings so that future generations can enjoy them,” or whatever? Because that’s what I would do — minus the butt implants, although if I had a hundred million dollars, I might GET SOME — but I can not imagine her taking a day off EVER despite the fact that her coiffure, at least, is clearly A CRY FOR HELP. Maybe she should consider giving it ALL a rest.