“What, THIS old thing?”
“What’s the big deal? I mean, I guess it’s kind of a nice color, and it’s flattering, and the waist detail is nice, but like…. I mean, there’s nothing HANGING from it. How can you like it? It’s barely a dress. THIS is a dress:
“Wait wait WAIT, I know what you’re going to say: ‘Oh, Eva, it’s crazy. Oh, Eva, don’t forget to brush your skirt before bed! Oh, Eva, you look like a car wash whose brushes were spun by spiders!’ But COME ON, people! There’s sparkles! There’s tassels! There’s bandages! There’s an arm sash wrapping its gossamer tentacles around my upper arm! You’re confused, you’re appalled, you can’t decide if you want to hug me or arrest me for mutilating sixty-four violin bows by turning them into a skirt! THIS IS A DRESS!”