Fug Madness 2020: Lottie, Gigi, Noomi, and TES

Jump to the polls:

(2) Gigi Hadid v. (7) Tracee Ellis Ross · (3) Lottie Moss v. (11) Noomi Rapace

(2) GIGI HADID vs. (7) TRACEE ELLIS ROSS

Help me out here, please: Am I able to see nipple through this on one side, or am I hallucinating?

As Jessica noted in the original post, this reminds me of things so many of us wore on New Year’s Eve in 2003. Also, Getty Images taught me that her jeans are ripped open in the back so that there is a large hole under her left buttock.

Here, please enjoy sleeves that are as long as the dress itself:

I can’t entirely parse what this is:

Jumpsuit? Separates? Either way, it’s a very filmy fabric that has made some real abdominal choices.

Of all my issues with this next photo, one is that I think she needs to be wearing her hair up:

Another is that I have no idea WHAT crossbody situation she’s wearing, and also, it’s a LOT of skirt and a lot of pant and I need this whole thing to divide itself by, say, 7.

Sigh. Please take a spin through Gigi’s archive, or the post from the first matchup, because there is much to see and evaluate before making the call.

Oh, but wait, this one is a doozy we haven’t shown you before:

Pardon the forthcoming, but it looks like she recently had triplets sitting on her lap who ALL blew out their diapers.

Tracee’s trousers here are also problematic:

Actually, that whole outfit is a grievous wrong being done to a lovely person. Ditto this Chanel monstrosity:

The next ensemble, I enjoy on her…

… but mostly because she’s bringing some personality to it. Objectively and generally speaking, a necklace made out of shag carpeting is bonkers.

She’s also doing her best with this feathered confection:

But it’s very very close to smothering her.

This feels like a HUNKER DOWN EVERYONE kind of combination nightgown and housedress, except she wore it outside, and well before anyone was doing any hunkering. Also is that the LABEL hanging out down there on the hem?

Both women have more to offer from the eligibility period; this is, of course, just an illustrative sample. Who should advance? Does Gigi offend thee, or will you vote Tracee?

Archives: Gigi, Tracee

 Loading ...

(3) LOTTIE MOSS vs. (11) NOOMI RAPACE

Lottie wore a lot of naked stuff this year, so I shall lead off with one of the LEAST nude garments:

We invoke the almighty Hefty Bag a lot, but… I mean, those are Hefty bags, right? They are.

Noomi Rapace, her opponent, also enjoys a cape on occasion:

That is some pleasant full-coverage battiness right there. But battiness it is, like Sexy Satan meets Pharrell. This, from Lottie, is pretty much the opposite of that:

Noomi is no stranger to sheers:

Oh, but if you were wondering what the BACK of Lottie’s outfit looks like, allow us to return to it for a moment:

Noomi is undaunted, as she has more in her arsenal:

Lottie, however, is not finished:

Noomi would like you all to know she’s keeping an eye on the proceedings:

Lottie’s crack styling team is also on the case, pun intended:

Noomi would like to close by going full Noted Kook on us all:

Any last words, Lottie?

Of course. Of COURSE her last word is “underboob.”

Archives: Lottie, Noomi

 Loading ...