It is with heavy hearts that we report the premature demise of The Return to Jordan Catalano.
Instead, we have a cocktail comprised of Max Headroom, Draco Malfoy, Ravenclaw, and every douche you have ever seen at a country club.
Nice try, but it’s not working. LUPITA WILL NOT LIKE THIS, SIR. In fact, I’d venture to say she’ll give you a big ol’ Nyong’NO. So finish up this role, if that’s what it’s for, and go back to the Dark Side. Our eyeballs will be grateful.
Which new blonde is better?
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[Photos: Fame/Flynet]