I’ll be honest: Ben Affleck has been looking less than his best lately:
It’s not that the suit is so bad, although it was very warm for much of today in L.A. — at least where I am — and so the idea of wearing a long-sleeve shirt and a waistcoat and a jacket makes me want to cry, except that steam would come out of my tear ducts instead, because: hot. But this all seems faintly off, and not just because his pants have tucked themselves into his shoes. Does it not look like Ben is…. very tired? Or perhaps like he cut an onion as recently as 15 minutes before this photo was taken? Or as if his eyes have stopped making tears, but he left his Restasis in his trailer somewhere?
For a second I thought he had a shiner that he was covering up, but in close-up that theory goes nowhere.
Perhaps he’s just glassy-eyed because, at the premiere of The Accountant, people have been pop-quizzing him with questions about the tax code.
Aw, I’m sorry, Ben. I don’t know your life. I’m sure it’s weird to be living in your own guest house semi-permanently. I actually do really enjoy the Affleck. He’s turned out to be a very adept director, if perhaps a dull Batman. I’ll always remember him so fondly from that Mango sketch on SNL where he had to seduce The Mango by pretending to be Matt Damon, and did so by pushing his ears forward and giving himself buck teeth. Armageddon is one of my guiltiest pleasures (it gave us the concept of SPACE DEMENTIA, for the love of God), and Pearl Harbor is another. Oh, the accent, the golder-than-gold highlights… the one-two punch of that movie and then the Team America song “Pearl Harbor Sucks (And I Miss You)” are hella special.
What’s your favorite Affleck (if you’ll excuse the oblique Mallrats reference)? What’s your LEAST-favorite? And can you, indeed, pick a side in that eternal and infernal debate — Matt vs. Ben — or are you both? Or neither? And what would you like to see him do next? Me, I think he should get away from whispering, stern roles like this and Batman and do something a tad quirkier. Who’s up for Ryan Murphy casting him in American Crime Story: I Can’t Think Of One Right Now But I’m Sure It’ll Come To Me?