I know, I know — we usually ding Jennifer Aniston for doing what she always does, fashion-wise, but in this case I’m going to hand it to her:
Is the dress faintly evocative of a cream towel wrapped around her and tied off to fit? Yes. And is her hair sort of resoundingly fine? Yes. But it also looks great on her, and look at what she’s wearing in the advert behind her: a cream thing wrapped around her body, and unkempt hair. The woman is peddling her eponymous perfume, which probably smells like yoga and bronzer and sand, so she’s smart to wear something that is perfectly Jennifer Aniston because that’s what she’s hoping people will want to buy. Like, if I spray it on, will ankle straps stop giving me cankles? Will I look that good after 40? Will my hair be mussed yet glossy? Will people think I just stepped off a yacht? And will I be able to wear tiny and tight stuff with the confidence of knowing people will drool over how fit I am? I mean, if you can bottle THAT, do the hell out of it. And if you can’t, peddle the image and hope people think that’s the next best thing.
Of course, if it turns out you dab on that perfume and suddenly people keep insisting you’re trying to get back together with your ex, while unfairly and stupidly calling you a dried-up spinster desperate for a baby and trying to marry you off to anything with a wang that so much as sneezes in your direction, well… go take two hot showers and then give that vial to Goodwill, because your womb is nobody’s business but your own.