I kind of wish she were smiling, but I get it. This is the Imposing But Beautiful Portrait of The Lady of the House Hanging Over The Fireplace In a Mansion:

And as such, it is dead on fantastic. You may remember a version of this dress from the time Sarah Paulson went to the Emmys, or that time Felicity Jones looked awesome, and the truth is that I like it best here, where it’s not supposed to be anything but over-the-top and mad crazy impressive expensive looking, and perfect for her to wander past, fifty years hence, drinking a cocktail and sharply informing her grandson’s terrible fiancee that she was once the most beautiful woman in New York and she remembers very well how to destroy her enemies, before sweeping off to smoke out on the terrace and think about her youth. Also: Polka dots.

(I just noticed that there’s a story in this issue by Princess Eugenie. I am interested to see if the byline on the actual article reads “Princess Eugenie” or Eugenie York. I totally understand why they’d refer to her using the former on the cover, but using “Princess Eugenie” as your byline might give me a case of the side-eyes.)