Go Fug Yourself

Well Played, Coco Rocha

I want to be Coco Rocha when I grow up.

Unfortunately, I am already #@!$! years older than she is. So that ship has not only sailed, but capsized. My only hope is if James Cameron stumbles on the remains while nosing around for more Titanic wreckage and agrees to rebuild me as a 3D hologram; even then, though, odds are 70-30 I’d have to hop around wearing a loincloth and promiscuous hair. So I guess I’ll just sit here and wish.

[Photo: Getty]

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